


I hate you, son

by space_lace



Series: Music under the Street lights [7]
Category: Show By Rock!! - All Media Types
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Child Abuse, Friendship, Gen, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Near Death Experiences, brief mashumairesh! appearance, mentions of vomiting, parental figures
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-14 17:33:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29545881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/space_lace/pseuds/space_lace
Summary: After they come back from Midi City, everything in Hachin's life goes to hell.
Relationships: Joe & Hachin, Rom & Hachin, Sojun & Hachin, Yasu & Hachin
Series: Music under the Street lights [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2116470
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	I hate you, son

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know at what point violence counts as graphic, but I marked that just to be safe. Take note that most of this was written before episode 7 of stars, but I tried to incorporate it a tiny bit anyway.

Finally coming back to UNZ after having stayed in Midi City for so long was more nerve wracking than Hachin had expected. He knew beforehand that it was a risk to leave for such a long time. When he stuck his key in the lock he braced himself to find his mother dead from alcohol poisoning, or the possibility of her having drowned in her own vomit.

The apartment was silent when he stepped inside, aside from the sound of the TV, and he wasn’t surprised to find beer cans all over the hallway floor. The stench of old beer and vomit was sickening. Pulling off his shoes he made sure to check where he put his feet as he made his way in further, peeking into the bathroom (empty), the kitchen (empty), finally finding his mother in her regular spot in front of the TV. The big surprise was that she was sitting up and was awake, looking him straight in the eye when he entered the room.

He stopped, staring back at her with wide eyes. “Um. Hi mum, I’m home…?”

The look on her face darkened, and she stood up on wobbly feet. He followed her every move, waiting for her to speak. Her wings twitched in annoyance as she came to a stop in front of him, not saying a word for what felt like an eternity.

Finally, she lifted her hand and a loud  _ smack _ joined the talking of the sitcom rerun she’d been watching. Hachin stumbled, knowing that if he fell she would move over to kicking him instead, and a messed up face was preferable to broken ribs, especially since he rarely dared to go to the hospital. Another open handed slap made his ears ring, as she grabbed his jacket with one hand so she could aim a fist at his jaw. Stars spun, and he wished desperately that he could fight back. He’d never dared to stand up for himself after the first few times of trying, as it had nearly ended his life twice.

He stood there, taking punch after punch until he crumpled to the floor, trying not to cry in fear of making it worse. He stayed there, curled into a ball to protect himself from his mother’s hard kicks, hoping that she would tell him what he did this time to deserve this.

“You little piece of shit…! Who said you could stay away from home for this long?! Who’s supposed to clean the apartment, huh?!”

He should have known that’s what it was about, really. “I t- I told you before I left- The band went to M-Midi City to perform…!”

“Like hell you did, brat! I’d remember something like that!” He wanted to say that she was probably too drunk to remember, but he knew if he did, he might die for real. He didn’t remind her of the note he had left on the kitchen table on top of that either.

Feeling her reach down and rolling him over so she could aim a kick to his face, he covered it with his arms, but she only redirected it to his stomach. He could feel his ribs crack. She gave him several more kicks for good measure, ensuring that some of the bones were broken afterward by means of leaning down and pressing his ribs downwards with her hand. The pain was so sharp he couldn’t breathe, the only thing he could think was that he would die tonight. He’d die after finally starting to build a proper friendship with his bandmates. He wished he’d been allowed to play with them at least one more time.

-

He must have passed out at some point during the beating, because when he came to he was in his bedroom, dropped on the floor like a sack of rotten potatoes. Staring bleary eyed at the mess of the tiny space, he noticed things were missing again. The room was practically bare, only some clothes and cheap knick knacks left on the floor. She’d even sold the mattress he used to sleep on, while he was gone…

He started to breathe in to heave a sigh, but was cut off by an intense pain. It was hard to breathe, so he shifted his position to one that might be easier. It didn’t help in the least, it just made him aware of the additional pain of his dominant hand that had been numb before this. He slowly became more aware of his body, and realised she must have continued the beating even once he was out cold. He didn’t remember her having hurt his hand, yet here it was, clear marks of abuse that had left his pinky and ring finger obviously broken. They were swollen and blue and he couldn’t move them at all. Great, now he wouldn’t even be able to play guitar for a while; the only thing he’d ever been good at.

Hachin let go of a slow and shaky breath as he prepared himself mentally of the task of sitting up. God damn it, his entire body hurt like all the fights he’d been in combined, and he hadn’t even been a willing participant in this one.

He looked around for his phone, finding it over by the wall where he used to sleep. It took all his energy just to crawl over there, but it turned out to have been wasted energy either way when he found it broken beyond the point of the thing even turning on.

Tired, he lied down on the floor again. God, he should probably go to the hospital this time, if only to make sure at least his fingers healed right. If they didn’t, what if he couldn’t play as well anymore? Playing the guitar had become such an important part of his life, he really didn’t want to lose it. He could deal with any other broken bones healing incorrectly, but his hands… they were the only thing he wholeheartedly liked about himself. The way he was able to use them to play his instrument made him feel alive.

With a lot of effort he climbed up onto his feet and took the few steps it took to get to the door. Pushing the handle down, he found the door stuck. He pushed harder, until he heard the voice of his mother from the other side. “Knock it off! You’re staying in there til you’ve been forgiven!”

Fuck, not again. It had been a while since she’d trapped him in his room by moving furniture in front of the door, but it was never a fun time. Since she’d gone through all his stuff for things to sell, he knew none of the food he’d hidden in there was left, and he was going to be trapped in there for at least a couple of days. And considering how mad she’d been, this was going to be one of his longer confinements.

Stifling a frustrated groan he sat back down again. Well, he could do nothing but sleep, he supposed. It wasn’t the first time he’d had sleep for dinner.

-

He had no idea how long he’d been asleep for, but he woke up from the pain of coughing. Opening his eyes he saw smoke coming in through the crack under and above the door and the key hole. His eyes widened as he smelled the fire and heard the crackling on the other side of the thick wood. He slammed his fists against the door, ignoring the searing pain in his hand as his pinky was crushed against the solid material. “Mum! Mum let me out! Please, something’s on fire!” She must have fallen asleep while smoking and the cigarette must have fallen into the beer on the ground. He’d seen her smoke and drink at the same time so many times… had even warned her about it a few times, but had either been ignored or slapped for it, and now he was trapped while the apartment went down in flames.

Hearing a yelp, he knew that she was there. Her loud cursing was muffled by the wood between them and almost drowned by the roaring fire, but he could hear her yell to herself. He punched the door again, begging her to let him out. “Please! Please, let me out of here! Mum!”

He reeled back when he heard the front door slam in the distance. Had she… had she left him? He struggled toward the window, seeing her storm out of the building and away from it all, her wings flapping the smoke away. They seemed to have been briefly caught on fire, but the light rain outside had helped put it out. She didn’t even glance over her shoulder when he yelled after her.

Sinking to his knees, he held onto the window frame. He really was going to die, wasn’t he? He was going to burn to death or be forced to jump from the fifth floor and most likely die on impact.

He wished he still had his wings, but when he was young and learning how to fly his mother had snapped them off and then had the remains surgically removed. Only faint scars were left of them by now.

The sound of the fire was deafening at this point, and a crowd of spectators had gathered outside. Living in a shitty area he knew it would take time for any sort of emergency vehicle to arrive, and people tended to avoid helping each other out here because you never knew who they could be. For all they knew, anyone could be a criminal that deserved to be in pain. Hachin had never understood that logic, but his attempts at bridging the distance between him and his neighbours had never gone well as a child.

Finally, the fire had eaten through the door and into the room. Full with nothing but fear, he weighed his options. He couldn’t imagine that burning alive would be a quick death. The jump would depend on how he landed. He felt so trapped. He’d actually hoped that life might get a little better at some point, but now it would end before he even got to the age of seventeen? Tears tried to make their way down his cheeks, but the heat made them evaporate in the corners of his eyes, making them crusty and painful with salt.

Determined, he made the decision to choose the option that had the potential to be quick; he jumped out the window with a scream.

-

For the second time in a row Hachin woke up not knowing how long he’d been passed out.

Though considering he hadn’t expected to ever wake up at all, it was a shock just to know that he was alive. At least he thought he was alive; he couldn’t feel his body, and his vision was blurry. When he tried to move he had no idea if he actually did. His brain was sending the signals to lift his hand, but considering he couldn’t feel his body at all, he didn’t know if it was working.

There was a sound to his… up? side… was that up or to the side? His brain was such a mess he couldn’t really think straight, but then something came into view, blocking the roof he’d been looking at.

“Hachin… can you hear me?” He couldn’t tell who it was. He couldn’t move his mouth, there was something in the way, covering it. All he could do was move his eyes. The voice could be heard again. “Hachin, if you can tell what I’m saying, blink twice.” Brain slowly processing, he blinked hard two times in as quick a succession as he could manage. He could hear a sigh of relief. and the shape disappeared from his vision.

A whining sound managed to escape him, and the face quickly reappeared. “I, I’m here. It’s okay. You’re awake now, so it’s gonna be okay. Yasu and Sojun are coming too, Sojun’s home changing clothes and Yasu’s getting food.” Oh… Joe. It was Joe.

“I’m gonna call for a nurse, okay? There’s a button at the head of your bed so I’m not gonna leave, I’ll be right here.”

Hachin’s vision blurred even more, which was the only reason he knew that he was crying. It scared him shitless that he couldn’t feel the heat in his nose or the lump that had to be in his throat.

He listened to Joe talk as they waited for the nurse. The phoenix told him how he’d spent a lot of time in this hospital so he knew a lot of the doctors and nurses, even the cleaning staff, so maybe he’d be able to get them to sneak Hachin the good food once he could eat again. It made Hachin feel like smiling a bit, but he wasn’t sure if his facial muscles acted on it.

After a minute or so a middle aged nurse appeared, brightening considerably at the sight of her patient being awake. “Sir, I’m so happy to see that you’re awake. Joe-kun knows a lot of the routines around here so I’m sure he can tell you a lot about it, but I’m going to help you along, okay?” She stepped closer, lifting his hand toward his face. He must have flinched, because she stopped. “I’m going to take away the oxygen mask for you, so we can see if you’re able to talk. Is that okay? I won’t do anything you’re not comfortable with.”

Slowly he blinked twice, continuing the signal that Joe had instructed him on earlier. Joe told her about it, and she continued to reach forward. His sight had slowly gotten sharper, so even though things were still fuzzy around the edges he could tell her face from her hair when she carefully removed the mask that had been covering the lower half of his face.

He tried to speak, and while he could make more than a whine it wasn’t quite words when he tried to articulate how he couldn’t feel his body at all. Luckily, the nurse still seemed to understand him enough to answer. “You’re on as much painkillers as you can safely be on right now. We’re going to slowly decrease them so your body doesn’t get overwhelmed. You were severely hurt after you landed. Luckily you didn’t hit your head that bad since you landed in a garbage container, but there was a lot of other damage to your body.” She moved out of his field of vision, and he must have moved in some way again, because she continued talking. “I’m going to press a button to adjust your position so you’re just slightly sitting up, so it’s safer for you to drink a little bit of water. We’ve had you on a drip and you will only be able to eat and drink a little bit on your own for now so your system can get used to the introduction of solid food again. Today we’re going to let you drink a little bit of water to start.”

He blinked again, finding it easier than speaking. He would like to see a little bit better than just having to rely on people leaning over him. There was the buzzing of technology grating on his ears and he slowly saw more of the room. There was room for three more patients, though the beds were currently empty. And then there was Joe, hand resting on his. “I’m going to let you collect yourself for a while and get some files, and then I’m going to explain your injuries a bit more, does that sound good?” Dread filled his stomach, but despite that he blinked twice for yes again. It’s not like he had a choice.

-

Soon after the nurse had left, Yasu entered the room, dishevelled and panting, like he had been running. He held a bag in his hand, clearly from his mother’s shop. “J-Joe said you’d woken up. You’ve been unconscious for over a week, we weren’t sure if- when- god, Hachin.”

The yatagarasu looked like he wanted to climb in bed with him from how worried he came off. “The doctors only told Joe anything cus no one could find your parents, so they contacted school and we found out that way- we had no idea where you were for  _ days _ .”

Hachin croaked out a tiny laugh. “Th n… ...nna fi… h… sh le...f… me in th…” He didn’t have the ability to speak more clearly, and it seemed to take Joe and Yasu a few moments to figure out what he was trying to say. But when it clicked, he could see it by the horrified look on their faces. “Someone  _ left _ you in there? On  _ purpose _ while the building was on  _ fire _ ?” Yasu asked in horror. Slowly Hachin blinked again, Joe telling Yasu what it meant after he realised he hadn’t been there when the signal was established.

Leaning his elbows on his knees, Joe leaned forward to look Hachin in the eye. “Who left you there?”

“Mmm… mu…”

“Your mother?” He could hear Sojun’s voice, but he was just barely out of sight. Hachin still blinked again, Yasu and Joe both catching it, their faces going even more pale. Yasu covered his mouth in horror, Joe didn’t even notice the blood dripping from his own lips. Sojun stepped into view, looking oddly dishevelled by the komainu’s standards, though not by anyone else’s. Those who didn’t know him would never be able to tell.

“That behaviour is below what even I would do,” Sojun stated as he gracefully sat down in the only still available chair, leaving Yasu to stand.

Hachin’s lips must have twitched upwards, because Sojun looked a tiny bit satisfied as he looked back at him.

-

The healing process was slow and excruciating. He had broken a lot of bones when he landed in the dumpster, and glass shards and sharp plastic had stabbed into his body. The doctors had told him that they had found slightly older injuries as well, but he hadn’t been able to tell them why he had them, instead breaking out into a panic that left him frozen in fear.

His mother still hadn’t been found, but enough had been figured out about his situation that he heard the staff talk about social services when they thought he was asleep.

He wondered if he would be held back in school. He’d already been on the verge of expulsion since that fight that brought the band together, and his grades had always been low. Clearly, knowing Joe’s situation, you could get held back for being sick, so it was another worry to add to the list on top of where he would even go after he was discharged.

The day he was going to leave the hospital was looming over his head, coming closer and closer every day. He had now moved on to physical therapy where he was struggling to walk and move, but he had always been stubborn.

He was the most surprised by Sojun’s support. Joe and Yasu were there just as much, but he never would have expected Sojun to be so… considerate, albeit with his own arrogant flavour to it. But he would push his wheelchair around whenever he couldn’t handle walking with only a minimal amount of initial complaint, and once they got going it was even comforting to have him there. His annoying comments during physical therapy gave him just that extra bit of motivation so he could walk over to him to try and pick a fight despite no longer having any chance of winning.

Some things would never change.

-

A week into his stay at the hospital he was visited by the girls from Mashumairesh. Ruhuyu handled most of the talking, though it looked like there was something on Himeko’s mind that she wasn’t sure how to say. He didn’t push. If she wanted to say it, she would, eventually. Howan had made him a soup that was gentle on the stomach, and she was pleased to inform that there was a little bit of honey in there. Delmin played on her grandpa’s horn until a nurse politely told her that she needed to stop for now.

-

After a month and a half in the hospital, the doctor started talking about when he was going to get to leave. The problem was that he had nowhere to go. His mother was still unaccounted for, and there was nothing left of his old building. He’d been visited by his boss at the restaurant where he worked part time, but he knew she really didn’t have the room for taking anyone in. He’d seen her apartment where she now lived with her wife. Besides, they were newlyweds, he would feel way too guilty to barge in on that.

Joe had offered to let him stay at his place, but it had felt wrong. Hachin would need physical therapy and help for a long time until his body was back to what it had been before, if it ever would. He didn’t mind that, he would still kick ass and play amazing music, but Joe lived in an apartment with no elevator, and with Joe’s own health to worry about there was no chance he was taking him up on his offer.

-

On the first slightly warm afternoon in spring, he made a phone call.

-

Rom didn’t recognise the number on the screen that showed up as he got ready to head to band practice at BRR. He’d already met up with Aion on the way from his day job, and he asked the other man to hang on for a moment as he picked up. “Rom speaking,” he started, only to be met with silence. “Hello?” he asked, and finally, a familiar voice that was much smaller than it usually was could be heard across the line.

_ “Um… you said I could… I could call you if I ever needed it…” _

For a second, Rom only blinked, making Aion tilt his head to the side, his hair almost slapping a stranger walking past in the face as a result. Then, Rom furrowed his brow in concern. “Yeah, what’s going on?” He’d thought Hachin would’ve thrown the business card he’d given him away, since it had been so long by now, but here he was, finally.

_ “So uh, kkhhh, this is hard to ask, but, um. I’m gonna be homeless soon if I don’t find somewhere to sleep, so I was kinda wondering…”  _ Rom could hear Hachin’s voice get more and more uncertain the longer he spoke, and once he got to where he actually had to ask his question he had trailed off entirely. Still, Rom understood. “I live 20 minutes from UNZ, so if you don’t find it too much trouble to go that far to and from school, you’re free to stay for a while.”

He heard a nervous squeak, and he knew that Hachin must’ve expected to be turned down.  _ “R-really? You’re not just, I dunno, saying that?” _

“I don’t make promises I don’t think I can keep.” He looked at a big tv screen on a skyscraper nearby, where an ad was playing. Shu’s smile shone brightly as he advertised a shampoo for long and silky fur from a brand that he knew the man had never really cared for back when they were still in the same band. “What happened?”

_ “My home kinda… burned down and the police can’t find my mum, so I think, uh, she dipped. She’s not coming back.” _

Rom’s jaw clenched. He’d figured Hachin had something going on at home, it’s why he gave him his private number even though they barely knew each other, but that was a lot to drop on one single teen. “Shit. That’s terrible, kid. Where are you sleeping tonight?” His mouth felt dry.

_ “In the hospital. I’m probably gonna be here for like, a week longer, the doctor’s not sure yet.” _

There were so many questions he wanted to ask, but he could hear the tenseness in the teenage bumblebee’s voice. “Alright. Text me the name of the hospital and the visiting hours and I’ll come visit you tomorrow afternoon after you get some sleep. Sound good?”

He could hear sniffling and had to pull the phone from his ear for a moment as Hachin clearly blew his nose before replying.  _ “O-okay… If you change your mind let me know, I can probably figure something out.” _

“I’m sure you would, but don’t worry about it. I’ve got the room. Go to sleep, Hachin.”

_ “G-good night.” _

“Good night.”

As he hung up he met Aoin’s confused stare half hidden behind a hand. “Let’s get going, I’ll tell you once we get to practice.”

He suspected they might not get that much playing done tonight though.

-

Mentally, every minute that passed was agonising. Rom had given him an approximate time he’d get there in the afternoon, and since he’d borrowed Joe’s phone to get in contact with him, his bandmate knew everything about it. He was planning on staying close while the drummer visited, but right now he was getting them something to eat. Hachin was allowed to eat as usual now, and Joe knew what food was the best that they served at the hospital, so he was a nice help to not have to choke on the mostly bland food.

Joe stepped back into the room with a boxed lunch from the cafeteria. Nothing could compare to Yasu’s mum’s bento but at this point Hachin was just glad if the food tasted anything at all.

“He’s coming any minute now, right?” Joe asked quietly as he put the food on the overbed table. There was a patient sleeping in the bed next to Hachin’s, a man who had broken both his legs and arms in some sort of sports accident, while his daughter doodled on his casts; the mother reading a book while keeping an eye on the child. Sojun had befriended the child, much to Hachin’s surprise. He hadn’t known Sojun got along so well with children, but the mum had joked about Sojun babysitting a few days ago. Seeing the stunned look on Sojun’s face had been priceless.

“Yeah, depends on parking. He was gonna borrow someone’s car or something” They sat in companionable silence while Hachin ate his boring food and they waited for Rom to arrive.

And he did, just as Hachin was chewing his last mouthful of rice. Seeing the flat combed hair, Hachin choked on it, Joe patting him firmly on the back until his airway was clear again. With watery eyes Hachin wiped his mouth on a napkin, quickly blinking his eyes clear again. “H-hey, I didn’t expect-”

Rom grinned, coming closer so he could ruffle Hachin’s hair. The mother and daughter next to his roommate’s bed looked at them for a moment before going back to their drawing and reading. “I came straight from my day job, I haven’t had time to change yet. You doing better than last night, kid?”

With flushed cheeks Hachin nodded, and Rom smiled at him before making sure to greet Joe. The phoenix smiled back at him, and told them that the roof was probably free if they wanted to talk without anyone bothering them. Ever since smoking was forbidden up there less people tended to stick around. Stubborn as he was, Hachin did in fact  _ not _ want help to get to the wheelchair even though he had barely slept the night before. Sure, he’d said good night to Rom on the phone, but the anxiety had been too bad for him to get much rest at all. But not having slept more than maybe half an hour at most, his body felt like shit and he couldn’t get all the way to the roof on his own legs.

But because of that stubbornness that had been impossible to beat out of him, he shakily made the trip from the bed to the chair, throwing his head back with an exhausted sigh once he was seated. He couldn’t wheel the thing himself yet due to the fact that his hand wasn’t completely healed, so while he found it annoying, he let Rom push the chair. Joe left them once they reached the elevator, letting them know he’d be waiting in Hachin’s room while they talked in peace.

-

Hachin didn’t know what to say. He’d asked Rom for something so big, he wasn’t sure if it was really the right thing to do. He’d had two offers, from his boss and from Joe, but it felt awful to take them up on it. For some reason though, asking Rom had been a lot easier. Was it because he had thought that he might be what a dad should be? Was he selfish for putting such an image on someone he didn’t even know that well?

His thoughts were stopped from spiralling by Rom starting the conversation for him. “When you told me your home had burned down I didn’t think you’d been in it when it happened. What floor did you jump from?”

The bumblebee fiddled with the bandages on his fingers that reminded him of Yasu. Rom must have figured out he’d had to jump because of his injuries. “Fifth.”

A sharp breath through teeth was heard next to him, and Hachin adjusted his legs in his wheelchair as he looked up at the man. “I’m glad you’re still alive. That must have been a scary jump.”

“It was scarier knowing that my mum locked me in there only to ditch me when the fire started. She really didn’t give a single shit about me in the end.” He could see the pain of the information tear at Rom’s facial expression, and the man kneeled down next to him so Hachin didn’t have to strain his neck anymore.

“You said on the phone that she hasn’t been found. I’m guessing you don’t have any other family, since you turned to me?”

Hachin nodded in confirmation. “I’m sorry for yelling at you back when you gave me your number and then come asking you for help anyway. But they keep talking about social services, and I know I’m annoying as fuck, so  _ that’s _ not gonna go well for me, so I kinda… didn’t know who else to ask.”

Rom lifted a hand to mess his own hair up, immediately looking less formal. “Look kid, I don’t blame you for that. What’s important is that you reached out to anyone at all.” He leaned forward, putting his hand on Hachin’s, a wide smile on his face. “I’ll let you stay for as long as you need, so be as annoying as you want. I’ve had plenty of practice.”

Biting his lower lip, Hachin gripped Rom’s hand, rubbing his watering eyes with the other as he nodded once. “Thank you.”

**Author's Note:**

> It's gonna get better from here on out. All this just cus I want Rom to be a parental figure to Hachin smh? Also, was Sojun cute in episode 7 while interacting with Titan's baby sibling or what?


End file.
